Waba waramukoye cyangwa se waramuteruye, ntukamuhohotere.

Burya kubaka haba igihe bigoye ntawe utabizi, n’uzavuga ko iwe bihora bimeze neza, byose abyumvikanaho n’uwo bashakanye, buri kanya bagahuza, buri munota, buri saha bakizihirwa, azaba abeshye, ahubwo ni ukumwirinda, afite akabazo. Hari igihe mutumvikanye ariko kwihanganirana birakwiye kandi mukabitoza n’abana banyu.

Mu ndirimbo zose, abaririmbyi bacu baba baririmbye urukundo rw’abantu babiri, dore nka Habibi ya The Ben, cyangwa se na Burinde Bucya ya Meddy, yewe n’abari bararuririmba nko muri Ko Nashize ya Knowless n’izindi nyinshi. Njye biranshimisha kuko mba mbona baba baririmba urukundo ruhebuje, byanafasha n’abakundana kubwirana amagambo meza. Kurakaranya nabyo bibaho ariko iyo urugo rwanyu rukomeye, birashira, mukababarirana mukongera mukiyunga, ubuzima bugakomeza.

Ingo zirimo ubwumvikane buke nazo zibaho, kandi nta waziseka, kuko burya urugo rwiza umuntu ararukorera ariko akanaruhabwa n’Imana. Abubatse nabi hari igihe usanze barakoze uko bashoboye ngo bikunde ariko bikanga, nta wabarenganya cyangwa se ngo abaseke. Ariko igihe ibintu bibihira, bikanasharira ni iyo umugabo afashe ingeso yo kuzajya ahohotera umugore we. Akamusunika, akamuha inshyi, akamudihisha inkoni, byose bivanze n’umujinya. Akaba yanamuvuna erega. Bitihi se akanamwica bagahamba.

Gukubita umugore nta gihugu bigira. Bibaho ku isi hose. Nta n’umuntu ushobora kwemeza ko bijyana n’ubukire cyangwa se ubukene. Inzego zose z’abantu aho bava bakagera zirimo iri shyano, rikwiye kwamaganwa.

Gukubita umugore ni amahano kandi birica. Iyo bitishe umubiri, bimwica mu mutwe no mu mutima, ntabe agishoboye kurera abana be neza. Kandi abana babona umubyeyi wabo ahohoterwa, barahahamuka. Ku buryo bishobora kubandindiza mu buzima, bakihurira mu biyobyabwenge, inzoga, amashuri akaba yabananira, nabo kandi bakazahohotera abo bashatse kubera uburakari bwinshi n’agahinda bavanye mu ihohoterwa rya ba nyina. Murumva rero ko iki kibazo gikomeye.

Guhohotera abategarugori ni icyaha kiremereye kandi gikwiye guhagurukirwa kuko hari abagabo basigaye barabigize idini, byaba mu Rwanda cg se muri diaspora y’abanyarwanda, n’ahandi hose ku isi. Erega bakanabyigamba. Hari n’abadatinya kubikorera mu ruhame, mwaba mwasohotse mwifashe neza mukabona umuntu akuruye imisatsi y’umudamu bazanye atangiye kumukubita. Aba bagabo bakwiye guhabwa akato gakomeye kandi bagahanwa by’intangarugero n’amategeko y’ibihugu babamo.

Abagore ni ibiremwamuntu ntabwo ari ibishyimbo bahura. Guhohotera umutegarugori waba waramukoye cyangwa se waramuteruye ni ubuhemu bukabije. Kandi n’umugabo ukubita aba yigirira nabi, erega. None kwikubitira umugore wawe, wakubyariye abana, uba wumva utari kwihemukira koko?

Rwose mureke tubyamagane kuko bino bintu biraduhombya cyane. Umugore utagiye ku kazi kubera ko yakubiswe ubwo si igihugu kiba gihombye? Abana batiga neza kubera imirwano ya buri munsi bazigeza ku ki kizima? Ni ikihe gihugu cyangwa urugo kw’isi muzi abagore bakandamijwe kandi bakubitwa ariko mukabona gitera imbere? Ababakubita, babadiha hari ubahembera ako kazi koko mwo kabyara mwe? Birababaje cyane.

Ni ayahe makosa atuma abo bategarugori bakubitwa? Abagabo bamwe bati baba baduciye inyuma. Hari igihe atari byo ariko kubera abo bagabo bafuha cyane, bakabona umugore abaca inyuma. Ubu ni uburwayi. Mu gihe bibaye byo koko, aho kubakubita, bakagombye kubaganiriza, bakababwira agahinda n’impungenge zabo, kandi byaba bishoboka abo badamu basabye imbabazi, bakazihabwa. Mugihe batazihawe, noneho aho kurwana, abagabo nibashake ubutane, nta nduru rwose. Erega inkoni ivuna igufa ntivura ingeso. Niba aguca inyuma kumukubita ntibivuga ko atazabyongera nakira inkoni. Ahubwo wowe bizatuma ufungwa unasebe muri bagenzi bawe. Abandi bagabo bahohotera abagore babo baba bavuga ko baba babasuzuguye, ese bo babereka ko babubaha babakubita?

Iyo umugore acecetse agacisha make, kuko yakubiswe, hari abibeshya ko ubwo ngo aba yasubiye ku murongo yubashye. Oya, ntabwo aba yubashye ahubwo aba afite ubwoba bwo kuzongera guhohoterwa, bikamuviramo ubumuga cyangwa se gupfa, agasiga impfubyi aho. Hari n’igihe aba yitwitiye atinya ko umwana yavamo, cyangwa se inda ye ikavamo atari yanavuga ko yasamye akuma akaba nk’igiti kubera agahinda. Iyo ntaho afite ajya, abona no hanze batamwumva cyangwa se yajya mu bukene bukabije aramutse agiye, ahitamo kwicecekera. Ariko mu mutima we aba afite intimba ikomeye cyane. Ibi nta kundi umuntu yabyita uretse gupfa uhagaze.

Njye sinakuriye mu Rwanda, n’ubu ni ubwa mbere nanditse ikinyarwanda kingana gutya mu buzima bwanjye. Ariko nibarize wenda hari abansubiza. Umuco nyarwanda ubundi wemera ko umugore bamukubita ? Ko umukwa bakubwira ko yatese yatonnye, bakakwihanangiriza bakubwira ko ari Muzirankoni, igihe cyagera bakaguhekera, bakazagaruka kumutwikurura kugira ngo ajye mu mirimo, ni ryari bakora umuhango wo kwemerera umugabo we kumukubita ? Ni ryari ? Ese ubundi ko amategeko abibuza, kandi akaba arusha amabuye kuremera, kuki abagabo bamwe babikomeza ?

Hari n’aho ngera nkababara kurushaho, iyo numvise abantu bamwe bavuga ngo umugore wa Kanaka akwiriye gukubitwa kuko yananiranye. Bakabyemeza cyane, bati ahubwo umugabo arihangana, aba yaratangiye kera. Mbega gutererana umuntu uri mu gihirahiro! Ariko twabaye dute ko mbona dusa n’abibagirwa vuba? Koko igihe gishize ni kinini cyane ngo twibagirwe bya bihe amahanga yadutereranye, abana bacu, ababyeyi bacu, bose baragenda bicwa rubozo, none umugore w‘umuturanyi, w’inshuti cyangwa se umuvandimwe, aratabaza kuko ahohoterwa, bakanga kumutabara ngo ni amakosa ye? Cyangwa se bakamugira inama yo kuguma muri ayo makimbirane atarangira ? Umugabo bakamworohera ngo rwose ni umuntu mwiza, abiterwa n’inzoga, aho kumugira inama yo kuzigabanya cyangwa se kuzireka. Njye ndareba ngasanga abantu bavuga gutyo baba barimo gushyigikira icyaha gihanwa n’amategeko, kandi baba batiza imbaraga abagabo bahohotera abagore babo. Hari n’abavuga ngo Ni Ko Zubakwa, nta mugabo udakubita. Ibi si byo na mba, murumva ko wenda abavuga gutya nabo baba baravuye mu ngo zibamo iri shyano bakagira ngo ni ko bimeze hose. Si ko zubakwa rwose, Ni Ko Zisenyuka ahubwo. Nta muntu wubakira mu nkoni. Abategarugori twateye imbere rwose, nta kudupfunda mu nguni, no mu bwoba. Dukeneye kubaho no kwibeshaho neza, kurerera abana bacu mu mahoro no mu mutekano.

Mwebwe muhohotera abadamu banyu, igihugu nikibahane, mugitesha ishema, muracyononera abategarugori, muracyononera abana biga violence mu ngo zanyu, muracyononera umutungo, rwose ntikibabere, ntaho iyo ngeso yo guhohotera abagore izakigeza. Erega munamenye ko mutesha n’ishema bagenzi banyu badufashe neza, muranabatera icyugazi. Dore buri kanya muba mwahise mu binyamakuru ngo mwakubise, mwakomerekeje, mwishe kandi uwakoze iyo bwabaga akagurira agatenge madamu son épouse, nta n’umuvuga. Dukeneye kumva inkuru zitwubaka n’izidushimisha, twarahahamutse bihagije.

Abagabo barushye babaho, rwose simbihakana, ariko iyo barushye bafite umutima wa kimuntu, bararira niyo yatemba ajya mu nda, cyangwa se bakitotomba ariko ntibakubita. Kandi rwose barababaje, rwose nabo tubatekereze abagore si twe tuba indushyi twenyine. Njye numva ibibazo byagombye gushakirwa umuti mu bwubahane bw’abashakanye bombi, kuko kwahukira umutegarugori ukamuhohotera ntabwo ari muti, ahubwo noneho ibintu birazamba.

Mbere yo gusoza mureke dusubize gato amaso inyuma: Ibintu byose twanyuzemo, iyo abari n’abategarugori tutagira umutima wizera, ubabarira wihangana, tukongera tukabyara, tukongera tukarera, twizera ko ejo hazaza hazaba hari heza ku bana bacu, igihugu ntikiba cyarabaye itongo? Yemwe bagabo dukunda, ese namwe iyo mutongera kugira ikizere cy’ejo hazaza mukajya gusaba, mugakwa mukubaka, mukabyara mukarera u Rwanda ntirwari gusibama? Mwadutije imbaraga mukatubwirira bagenzi banyu bahohotera abadamu babo ko bari kutwicira gahunda yacu yo kubaho neza? Umuntu yava mu masasu ajya mu nkoni, koko ? Rwose mubatubwirire bivuze, abashaka ko tubasengera dore amavi yacu ni ako kanya turayashyira hasi dusabe Imana ibavane mu bishuko bibatera ubwo buhemu. Nibanangira mu makosa yabo mubahe akato rwose nta mpamvu y’izi ntambara, izo twarwanye zirahagije. Babyeyi, Nshuti n’Abavandimwe b’abategarugori bahohoterwa, mwe kubatererana, rwose mubegere, mubatabare byihutirwa, mubavane mu gihirahiro, basubire ibumuntu kuko baba mu gahinda gakomeye. Bategarugori muhohoterwa namwe mwegere bagenzi banyu mubabwire iyo ntimba ibari ku mutima babashe kubafasha.

Nshoje mbona nta mpamvu n’imwe ifatika yo guhohotera abategarugori, nta n’aho bizatugeza, ahubwo twese hamwe tubihagurikire tubyamagane.

Zaha Boo

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2 Comments

  1. Zaha, This is so interesting, please, do write more about family and society and culture. we do need your smartness in the journey of building Rwanda. I deeply thank you so much!

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